Let Them Go....
It may genuinely hurt the other person. But doing what's best isn't always what feels good. To avoid this types of things, I'd suggest taking things extremely slower than the slow you feel you take when dealing with people.
A lot of the times we subconsciously created unhealthy bonds with people out of loyalty. We get used to these bonds and it becomes very difficult to remove them out of a particular space or just out of our lives in general. This is called a toxic soul tie.
You can't detach completely unless it is toxic. When dealing with family sometimes you naturally grow from another place and mindset and they more than likely can't accept the new you. They consistently remind you of who you were no matter how much you show and tell them you're not who you used to be. They will try and influence you to fall back into your patterns. Or they just dont understand you and misinterpret the way you are with them and yourself. They will:
●Try to persuade you to be who they are comfortable with
●Test you to see if you are genuinely changed.
●Remind of your downfalls / mistakes
●Talk negatively to you or about you
●Not support you
It's best to not lose respect for them, even though it may be tough. But, you will have to let them go.
Break any negative soul ties. A soul tie is a spiritual transfer between you and someone else that causes you to become one with that person. It can happen sexually or spiritually through your dreams or imaginations. It can also happen through comfort. When you are used to someone being negative or positive towards you and you accept it over and over again, that becomes your comfort zone.
All souls ties are not bad.
In the bible in the book of First Samuel 18:1, Jonathan and David were knit together at the soul. In verse 2 it says Jonathan loved David as his own soul. Soul ties are a beautiful thing, but it can be perverted through fornication, control, manipulation or vain imaginations. I'll create a seperate post on soul ties in depth.
You can have an unhealthy soul tie with family. If you seem to always go around toxic behavior even though you font want to, there's an unhealthy relationship soul tie that needs to be broken and some intentional boundaries that need to be set up.
To break the soul tie with a family member, Pray out loud
"God, you positioned me in my family for a purpose. I love my family and I keep them under your covering. I pray against and come out of agreement with the unhealthy soul tie with ________ (say the family members name) and come into agreement with the rightful order you have designed a family to be in. I release myself from _____ (family members name) and I give them to you. In jesus name Amen.
After this do not allow them in that realm of personal space if they are being or showing toxic behavior towards you.
●By not giving them any room to destroy your character
-You may not be able to recieve "wise" counsel from them
- You can't take them seriously or let them hold value in your heart.
-You may have to stay away from gatherings or only stay for a certain time.
●Keep communications short. (don't let them keep you bound by an attitude or disrespect towards them) Just know that due to toxicity you have to protect your well being. When you see the conversation turning sour go left, create an exit. That can be on the phone or in person.
The bible says in Proverbs 18:24,
"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Alot of the time family doesn't receive you as a friend or friends would.
True friendship is a blessing. Yet, there's a possibility that even people you think are friends will display behaviors that will hinder your growth. When a friend can't accept you for who you are without trying to change you for the better, that's not healthy.
Letting a friend go is very hard also I've had to before and it sucked but it was relief after I got through the grievance and I realized it was so necessary
People you think are your friends, but are actually not will:
●Talk about you behind your back
●Become rude and obnoxious towards you
●Act different when other people are around
●Manipulate you to do things you have told them you don't want to do
●Avoid you with no explanation
●Don't support the moves you want to make
●Make fun of who you are as an authentic person
There's many things. If this "friend" does things on a consistent basis that rubs you the wrong way as far it being emotionally, physically and mentally damaging. I'd suggest to let them go.
Call them or talk to them in person or find a way to communicate with them and let know you have to end the friendship and you want the best for them. However they receive or understand your words, keep your words short and to the point and let them go. You never want do leave someone guessing where they stand with you. It's a selfish act. It may not feel good but you have to do what's best for you and your mental health.
While friendships are needed and healthy soul ties to friends are necessary, unhealthy soul ties develop and it's hard to break free from even the thoughts of how these toxic friends affect you. You need to break the soul tie.
Break the soul tie
Say this prayer:
God, I pray that you release me from thos soul tie with ______. I pray for their healing and strength to be found in you. I give them over to you. I speak life into me and I pray you heal me from the top of my head to my feet. Heal my hurt from any anger, frustration, envy, strife, pride or anger from this toxic relationship. Give me genuine, authentic divine connections that are confirmed by you to be in my life. I declare freedom in the name of Jesus.
It comes a time to let go of baggage so you open you hands to better things. Create room in your life for better. Toxic environment clouds our judgement and minds and when genuine people are around, we can't recieve or accept them because we are holding on to what others have done.
Many people attract toxic relationship partners because we have no clue that their is healthy love that wants us and actually exists. Most of our toxic mindsets came from the types of relationships we've had with our friends and family. If we have not seen:
●Reconciliation after healthy disagreements
Things as these from friends or family, it will be hard to believe we deserve that in a relationship.
So we get in ourselves in relationships that displays issues towards us or our family such as:
●Are driven by lust/sex
●Abusive(mental, emotional, physical and verbal)
-Physically grabs, holds, shoves, hits, kicks, or punches you
-Yells / curses at you
●Full of lies
When we find that we are in a relationship where deep down in the back of our minds we really know is unhealthy but we force ourselves to stay..we need to
Let It Go
-Break the soul tie
Pray this prayer,
God I ask that you forgive me for committing sin against my body. The temple you created your holy spirit to dwell in. (Only say this if you have had sex with this person) I am coming out of agreement with the kingdom of darkness and walking in agreement with your light. I break the soul tie from _________ (the person's name). I declare that I am free in Jesus name.
How do you know you have a soul tie with an ex or someone you had sex with?
●A soul tie automatically transfer through sex
●You arent genuinely interested in this person but you still have sex with them.
●You can't stop talking to this person
● This person displays toxic behavior, but you seem to still want them.
●When you see this person you become highly disturbed, anxious or uncomfortable (outside of trauma from abuse)
●You entertain them when you know it's not good for you
●You really want out of a relationship, but you don't know why you stay.
After you break the soul tie,
●Get rid of all gifts from this person
●Get rid of any writings from or about this person
●If you can remember state out loud against any words you have spoken to this person that has concerned your future. Iys about to get real so keep reading. Words such as,
●This ____ (sexual organ) is yours
●You're my husband/wife
●I'm going to have your babies
●You're all I ever wanted
Things like that. Cancel those out in the atmosphere the word says
Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
Matthew 18:18 KJV
With our words we loose things into our atmosphere that God never intended for us. So we can bind those words and replace them by loosing Gods plan for our lives. This can be a prayer also,
Lord I bind the words that I have spoken over my life concerning my dealings with ____ (that person's name) when I loosed in the earth that I ________ (the words that you said, if you can't remember it's ok, still pray this prayer without the words) I reverse those words and loose the will and the plan that you have for me when it comes to my marriage. Prepare and build me up for the person you have for me in Jesus name.
Who and what you allow in your life is important. Healthy soul ties exist from family, friends and a spouse. We should desire healthy relationships and deep any dead weight that will help us mentally, emotionally, verbally and physically. Of your are consistently being damaged in these ways often by friend, family or a partner, Let Them Go.
I appreciate you for reading this