I feel lost in life 😣

There's always a point in my life where I feel I'm on top of things. I am checking off things I need done and then BOOM. I hit this stop sign or brick wall and I feel I am lacking. I am 26 years old. I have a 3 year old son. My mother has physical disabilities and my little brother lives with my mom also in a two bedroom apartment. I am sharing a room with my 3 year old. My little brother's room is our living room. With all our stuff in one room I feel cluttered. No matter how much I throw out it still feel the walls get closer and closer lol. No I do not suffer from claustrophobia lol. Maybe ... lol

 I just want a better life, more space, more freedom, more creativity and ownership of assets and for my little brother to have his own room. I look at all my goals written down and some even tacked on to a wall in me and my son's room. I just feel I dont know what to start or how to start on the biggest goal I have of starting a business. My son will be starting school soon and a job will not give me the freedom to go check on him or have that bond with his teachers and know what's going on in his class and how me as a mother can uphold my responsibilities of making sure his school and personal life are the best possible for him.

I totaled out a car I had recently bought and have been carless over a year now. I have debts that I am in the process of clearing so I dont have the extra funds to begin my business journey. I feel lost at times....

As I looked at my life in this last year I had literally felt like I was moving up in life. I got hired at a job and leased a car that I planned on paying off very quickly. I began buying things for a house or apartment that I didnt have yet. I was preparing for more.

I wind up crashing into a pole, totaling my car. I wind up getting a credit card and maxing it out from the pressure of being a mother and wanting my son to have a good Christmas. And using any extra money I had to uber to work everyday just to get to and from work. I was literally working to pay bills and transportation to get there. I just felt so low. I felt like life wasn't meant to be this way. I was drowning in debt. I dont even wanna mention student loan debt. I went to a school that got shut down right after graduating and I accumulated lots debt from that experience. I had applied to every application I could in that field. I always ended up needed the experience that was impossible fresh out of school.

I began to go deeper into my faith. I began to learn the scriptures that would lead me to a better life. I needed my own self encouragement. I'm a person to keep things to myself and deal with them on my own. But I learned quickly that that was one of the worst things I could do. I didn't realize how disconnected to God I really was by my own choices and feelings. I felt since I got myself into this I have to get myself out. And I realized...

 that God isn't that type of being. He knows we get ourselves into huge messes. But He wants to help us out of them lol. He's a true parent. I've seen my son do some foolish things that just make me chuckle on the inside. He could stick his head between two bars and fear for his very lifeπŸ˜‚ and cry out for my help after the 70 times I told him to not do that. Even after the 100th time I told him the consequence of getting stuck and hurt lol. He's a curious kid and gets his head stuck anyway. I would gladly love to see him asking for my help. It's my honor to help his little soul. Lol. As I help him I may be frustrated or I may not depending on the time of the month lol. But once he's helped out of his uncomfortable situation I'll embrace him with a hug with tears falling out of his eyes and compassion for him with words to comfort him. And remind him do not put your head between those bars again. And with my child, he may not or may not do it again. πŸ˜‘ lol. Eventually he will get this picture tho lol.

What does this have anything to do with feeling lost??

Alot of time in life, we make choices for ourselves. We never consult or ask God about the choices we make. For me, I did ask about many things.

Question#1:
●I asked if my sons father was the man God wanted me to be with...

Result #1:
●I am now a single coparenting mother.

Question #2:
●Should I buy a car right now God?

Result #2:
●I totaled that car and dont have one.

Question #3:
●Lord, Can You give me an idea for a business?

Answer #3:
●He gave me an idea with a dream to ensure that He was going to restore me.

If you notice the first two questions I asked God, it ended in results and never an answer because I chose to take things into my own hands and never waited for an answer. Yet in reality I didnt know how. I lacked understanding of how to even hear from God.

When you are feeling lost and you know you dont genuinely have that relationship with God where you hear from Him, its not because He chooses to talk to certain people. He talks to everyone. It's just you have to build a deeper relationship with Him. You have to understand what His voice is to YOU. He talks to us all the same way but many of us hear from Him through multiple or different ways.

I've learned that God talks to me through repetitive scriptures I hear randomly.

One time I was driving at work and I saw this same van about 3 times and I always noticed writing on the back but I didnt know they were scriptures. So one day I actually noticed it was a bible verse on the back. I decided to write down the verse. It was only the location in the bible where I could find it. So I pulled up my bible app and read it and I was like ok I have no problem in this area. It said to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. I wasnt so  worried about it. I just kept on with my day. Then later that week I hear that same scripture in a video I was watching. I was like....okπŸ€”. I examined my life. And there is no sign of any of that so I'm like ok I'm good lol. Then that Sunday prayer and scripture went forth and that exact scripture was saidπŸ™„. I prayed immediately like Lord what is this? I have been celibate for about a year and you bring this to me. I have not been entertaining anyone and I am focused on my healing from old relationships. But little did I know a couple months later I was walking into a dilemma which I kindly DID NOT accept. And I believe the prayer I prayed about the repetitive scripture and for God to send angels to protect and cover me..kept me safe from making any choices that wasn't in the will of God. If I wasn't attentive, I could have made a really big choice that would have changed the course of my life. I had a pattern throughout my life of hooking up with people who did not have the same values as I did. And God was just warning me and preparing me for that dilemma.

When feeling lost.... go deeper in God. Consult and ask God about decisions and if you do not have an answer.... DO NOT make a move. Go deeper into God. Keep asking, fast from food for a particular time and stick to that timing, pray while you are and when you are not fasti ng,  read your word even more, watch faith filled YouTube videos and be patient. God sees and hears you. Don't let an unanswered question result in debt and unplanned hardships.

If you have made choices that you regret. I have so dont feel alone. There's always beauty and a bright side to it all. God forgives so forgive yourself. Learn to build a better relationship with Him so you dont keep up the same cycle of wrong choices.

A wise woman from my church said last week, " If you dont have it, you dont need it right now."

I dont have a car
I dont have my own apartment / house
I dont have a husband
That's ok because I believe when I will is when it's the best timing for me.

I wrote down my desires in every aspect in my life and I pray over it. I suggest you do that too and build your life from scratch. It's never too late for a fresh start!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Write a new vision for your life. Always refer back to your vision.
Created a pretty cool virtual vision album.
I made different albums on my phone and used Google and saved photos to my phone for specific areas of my life.
From my
House
Car
Health
Family and much more.

You should try it too!!!!

God is a God of new beginnings

Feeling Lost is a good thing because it means you are paying attention to your life. It means you want to reroute and God loves that. It gives Him room to remove, replace and present amazing things in your life.

Be good to yourself!!!!

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