Why I Want A Daughter - Embracing Womanhood & Parenting

I’m currently pregnant with my second child!  My desire was for a girl that first go round, but God blessed with such an amazing young boy! I hav no regrets having a young man to lead and grow. I love you Jordan Wiggins ❤️

I am 5 months away from excruciating pain trying to birth the blessing God is trusting me with. Birth pains aren’t the only pain you grow through as a parent. The constant worry. The constant fear. The constant concern. Am I qualified for this? Am I ready for this? Can I afford this? Do I have enough space for another human to be added to my household size? Do I have the proper mental health and care to help raise a child to have a healthy mindset? So many questions. So many reasons to feel inadequate and insecure of the assignment. Being a parent is a life long assignment and can not be taken lightly. 

As a woman who was once a baby girl who grew to a young woman and now becoming a full grown woman, I lacked many things that I see should be a priority for women. I grew up in a single mother household. My mother worked 3 jobs and her presence was very little in my home. As a toddler my mother, older brother and I suffered abuse at the hands of someone my mother allowed in her life as an escape and safe haven. The escape eventually lead to me being abused by someone I called dad. There was a time when my mother was making an escape from his harsh treatment and I remember looking above while my mom was being forced over a two story railing due to her abuser trying to push her over. My mom was able to hold her weight down and her abuser did not have success in throwing her overboard. Leaving that toxic environment, my mother, brother and I lived in multiple homeless shelters. I could imagine the mental and emotional anguish my mother experienced trying to keep her and her children safe. 

Leaving the shelters and finding a place to live was a success. I wind up in Los Angeles on 87th and Normandie where I lived from 7 years old to 16. In those times I saw my mom have multiple partners. None of them were successful. I saw fights and toxicity throughout the years. Most of what I knew of women empowerment when it came to relationships was if a man isn’t treating you properly, pack his bags and throw him out or allow consistent disrespect in the name of love. 

As a more mature woman who has spent 2 years celibate and fully trusting and surrendering to God, I realize how negatively my childhood impacted me. Before celibacy, I would be in relationship after relationship because that’s all I knew. I accepted bare minimum behavior from men because that’s all I knew. I gave my body many times due to the need to feel loved and leaned into my feelings more than my values because they were non existent. 

My mother spent a lot of time out of the home which left me on my own as well as able to hide and lie a lot of my choices and behaviors. I spent a lot of my childhood watching vhs cassettes alone. I learned to cook for myself and clean. By the time I was 11 years old I could cook a full course meal and clean an entire house on my own. Growing up I wrote a lot and talked less. I didn’t have a voice except within myself. 

As a young woman, the only value I saw in me was my body frame because many young men made it loud and clear that’s what they saw in me. My ego boosted every time someone was attracted to my body, yet my heart desires genuine connection. I viewed myself as a genuine woman who had plenty to offer but I never shared or displayed my mind. My body was on full display and it helped me connect with the opposite sex. 

As a young woman I desired to be known for the intelligent, self controlled and powerful speaking woman I was but I hid myself and accepted what ever was offered or focus on whoever accepted my invitation. I gave life the bare minimum and I accepted it as well. 

As I grew through trials, tribulations, surrendering to God, and healthy choices, I realize that womanhood is so much more than flashy faces, colorful nails, tight dresses, pants and skirts, financial gain from a man, any kind of attention, looking better than someone else and more..

I began to renew my mind with greater information. I realize and agree that women who are educated and prioritize it above the distractions and the noise of wanting to be accepted by others is empowering. Being modest is a win and will attract genuine people. Waiting for a partner who reciprocates Godly love is fulfilling. Being content with what you look like and what you have will attract growth. Being kind regardless of others displaying otherwise is leadership. The smile of a woman is healing to the soul. Femininity has more meaning than just being soft. Being bold and standing on what you say and boundaries creates peace within. Accepting more than just money from men is valuable. Rejecting anything less than what you deserve is safety. Loving yourself first treats others how to treat you. Being present and understanding as a mother brings a lineage of self awareness. Maintaining emotional control is wealth and gain of understandings from others. 

There is so much value and opportunity in being a woman and embracing womanhood. This is why I want a daughter. To teach her what love and respect looks like. To give her a safe space to be herself and stand in her own temperament and giftings. To prioritize education and academics to be self sufficiency early on. To recognize who to let in and who to keep out. To be taught values, virtue, self awareness, kindness, humility, honor, and so much more. 

If you’re an expecting mom or a mother, our kids desire and long for genuine connection. It’s much simpler to connect when they are toddlers but as our kids grow and realize new perspectives, they can feel and they understand when we as women lack things that are crucial for our own personal development. Be a great example for your daughters and sons. 

Be empowered and encouraged in your womanhood. If you haven’t made the best decisions, it is never too late to renew your mind towards God’s will for your life. You have the power to be the woman God trusts you to be. You may not know what true love feels or looks like. You may not know what healthy parenting looks like. You may not know what it’s like to be taken care of. You may not have the desire for modesty, yet you want to know and be something different. 

The difference you desire or feel deep down is the God qualities within. It is embedded in you from the Father of this world. You are His Daughter. You are of His lineage. He sacrificed for you. He loves you and He calls for you to represent Him well. He will give you the desires of your heart, but first your heart must be cleansed to see what it is pure, just, righteous and true. 

Seek God with all of your heart, mind and soul and see how empowered you will be for yourself and for your children. Be empowered. 

”Behold, every one that useth proverbs shall use this proverb against thee, saying, As is the mother, so is her daughter.“

‭‭Ezekiel‬ ‭16‬:‭44‬ ‭KJV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/1/ezk.16.44.KJV

Let this word be for you and not against you.